Archive for the ‘Relationship Help’ Category

Stop Divorce and Save Your Relationship

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

If you want to stop divorce, you have to convince the person what wants to divorce you to give the relationship another try.  This isn’t always possible, but it’s absolutely necessary if you have a chance of stopping a divorce.  A divorce can be stopped at virtually any stage—before it’s filed or just before it needs the final paperwork.  The earlier you stop a divorce, the more likely it is that the divorce won’t be restarted, at least not anytime soon.

So to stop a divorce, you must convince the person to give the relationship another chance. If you have been begging the other person to give you another try or pleading for them to get back together with you, stop now. This might seem counterproductive, as if now that the person has less resistance it will make it easier for them to divorce you. But your pleading probably wasn’t doing anything but convincing them that divorce is a good idea anyway. Who wants to be around someone who is behaving that way?

If you can start acting more mature and behave in a more pleasant manner, it might surprise the other person and help stop divorce.  Explain that you really don’t want the divorce and you want another chance in a calm way.  The person already knows this so you screaming or carrying on won’t help your chances.  Just make it clear that you’re hurt and very sad, and you really want another chance.  You might be surprised how the other person reacts when you change your behavior.

You can also show a mature side of yourself that the other person might not have seen over the last several weeks and suggest marital or couples counseling to stop divorce. Counseling has worked for million of couples and your relationship could benefit from it, too. If you can get the other person to agree to couples counseling, then you have precious time before they file for or attempt to finalize a divorce to convince them to give you and the relationship another chance.

During counseling you’ll have the opportunity to show the person why they fell in love with you.  You can remind them why you’re together in the first place.  And if you can show honest effort in wanting to deal with the problems that come up during the counseling—and many probably will—that might be enough to convince the other person not only to stop divorce temporarily, but permanently.

When you succeed and stop divorce, you must remember that the person was about to divorce you and it would be easy enough for them to change his or her mind and file for divorce later.  Having already thought about divorce and maybe even having gone far enough as to file for divorce at one time makes the decision to file again easier.  So be aware of the state of your relationship, and perhaps continue counseling.  It’s easier to stop divorce temporarily than to have a good relationship for the long term.

The Magic of Making Up offers a number different methods help stop your divorce in its tracks. Take action now to save your relationship!

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

Do you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship?  Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first.  For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up?  Wrong!  Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship.  The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable.  This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive.  Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work.  Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message.  This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language.  If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying.  When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency.  If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need.  When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.  When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don’t keep secrets.  Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship.  Be honest and open.  Assume everything you know will eventually come out.  Secrets require enormous energy on your part.  That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are.  Don’ t make him or her guess what you need.  Let them know.  It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish.  Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no.  When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing.  But you don’t need to say yes to everything.  A partner cannot respect you if you never say no.  Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth.  When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt.  Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain.  But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth.  Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions.  These become the fertilizer for growth and change.  Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain.  But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

Can I Save My Marriage – Its Up To You

Saturday, October 24th, 2009

It is depressing to see many marriages that are in turmoil, and it is especially disconcerting to see them end up as messy divorces, so you may ask how can I save my marriage? Filing for divorce is not the solution for when a marriage has hit its pushing limits. There are a number of solutions that require that both partners to be fully committed in saving the relationship that they have. The first step is counseling, which enables the couple to have a mediator in dealing with their issues.

In addition to professional services, there are a number of different things that can be done to save a marriage, it is not a complicated process and does not require much outside of both parties working towards the common goal. Below are four things that you can take to heart and utilize to “save my marriage” and improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.

First, know that the perfect marriage is a myth. Whenever two people are brought together, there will be problems, including the few that can grow into deal breakers in your marriage. This is a natural result of bringing two people together. Even perfect twins differ in likes and dislikes. For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. Seeking perfection will only destroy everything. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you’ll realize it is possible to “save my marriage.”

Second, good communication is vital, for when the communication is insufficient; the marriage is doomed to face problems. The most vital thing is to be honest with your partner. Just about every issue and problem can be solved if communication is maintained. The third tip is to accept compromise. Many have made this an art, with good reason. The middle ground that will enable a conclusion to the conflict has to mesh with both parties and their interests before it can “save my marriage.” Marriage on a whole is about compromise and knowing that there are times when your spouse will have to give and times when you have to give in order to “save my marriage.”

Really, a marriage is about commitment, the fourth tip. Like a car, if it breaks down, you don’t abandon the car on the side of the road. The only time you do get rid of the car is when there is no hope. Saving your marriage involves the same level of commitment and working towards making things work, if you ever have a chance to “save my marriage.”

Sometimes, the damage to the marriage totals it, and no matter what you do, nothing can change it. Some issues cannot be solved, counseling cannot help. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense. Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues that plague your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say that you can “save my marriage.”

Don’t Let Them Make A Fool Of You

Sunday, July 26th, 2009

If you and your ex have just split, you may be in the marketplace for books on relationships.  But how do you choose the right books on relationships among the many books out there?

In this article, I will show you how to choose the right books on relationships.  And the answer will surprise you.  Read on…

First, don’t be fooled by fancy letters after a author’s name.  There are many people who find school to be a convenient escape from real life.  Instead of engaging with people, they spend their time in the classroom and library.  As a result, they end up with a lot of letters after their names when they hit age 35.  They use their degrees to indicate that they have “expert knowledge” of a situation.  But does their expertise work in the real world?

Instead, you should look for books on relationships by authors who have been in the trenches.  They’ve either put a bad relationship back together themselves or they have helped countless buddies do the same.  These aren’t therapy patients that come in for the “fifty minute hour” either.  These relationships are those of people the author cares deeply about.

Next, you want to find books that don’t boil down to “put the relationship aside for 30 days and work on yourself during that period.”  This is all most “save your relationship” or “get your ex back” reports say.  Many of the ebooks on the market turn that concept into 50 page documents.  These are just pieces of fluff and don’t deserve your attention – or your money.

Instead, you should look for a book that will give you new information; information that you’re friends can’t give you.

For instance, will the book tell you what women crave the most?  Will it give you a step by step guide for how to give it to her?  Will the book show you how to recover from an affair?  Will it give you specific techniques to get relief from your pain?

Finally, look at who is recommending the book.  Do the testimonials seem a little generic?  Were they written by the author’s brother and second cousin?

You want to find books on relationships that come recommended by a wide variety of people, in various situations, from all walks of life.  If it looks like both a guy from England and a newly engaged woman from Kansas have used the book, chances are it will work for you.

There are many books on relationships on the market.  Unfortunately, most of them are drivel because they weren’t written by someone in the trenches.  As a result, they have generic advice that could be best summed up in a paragraph or two.  Then, what recommendations the book can get are generic in nature, because the book really has nothing going for it.

Finding the best books on relationships can take a little work.  But, everything about relationships are work.  Here at GetLoveBackFast.com we’ve taken the guesswork out of the equation. Check out our top relationship book reviews Here.

Gals – Want That Ex-Boyfriend Back?

Sunday, July 26th, 2009

How to Get your Ex Boyfriend Back Without Driving Him Away

Did something go wrong between you and your boyfriend, causing one or both of you to flee? If you thought things were going good, and suddenly they fell apart,  don’t worry! It is possible to learn how to get your ex boyfriend once you know the right steps and a basic understanding of where to go from here.

First, ask yourself the following four critical questions. These are very important questions when it comes to figuring out how to get your ex boyfriend back.

- Is the matter that caused the breakup actually important enough to warrant the attention it is getting?

- Is it really appropriate to argue about this matter right now?

- Can anything be changed or made different by continuing in the argument or would it be more prudent to just nip the argument in the bud and move on?

- Is the issue even worth arguing about in the first place?

If you answer no to any of the above questions, then stop pressing the matter and let it go. Many break ups can be prevented or quickly rekindled by simply picking your battles. Surprisingly enough, many breakup inducing arguments are really completely unnecessary, and could be cast aside if only the parties involved could let the tension slide and move on.

The next step to learning how to get your ex boyfriend back is to stop worrying so much about how you are being perceived. It really does not matter if people think you are funny or too serious, fat or too thin, stupid or intelligent. Let go of these concerns so that you can finally be yourself and let your behavior flow. This way, people like your ex boyfriend will perceive you for who you really are, rather than who you are trying to be.

Emotionally and mentally distancing yourself from your ex is an important step in learning how to get your ex boyfriend back. While this may seem counterproductive, it is actually important to take yourself out of the situation mentally and emotionally, removing the stress associated with the break up. When you are feeling more calmed and relaxed, and he is feeling the same, this is when a real resolution can finally become a part of the dialogue between the two of you. A little bit of distance never hurt anyone. It’s important to stay in contact and maintain positive conversation and communication, but take the emotions out of the situation if you want to survive the conversation. Remember the old saying “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”.

Once your head is clear, and his head is clear, this is when the situation can be truly analyzed for what it is. When you and your ex are no longer feeling so hot headed about the issue that led to the breakup, this is when you can sit down together and communicate through a solution.

Most breakups can be easily undone if you and your ex boyfriend can simply find the patience and civility to talk things through, so this should be your primary goal if you want to rekindle the flame with an ex significant other that you really care for.

Our top reviewed relationship product “The Magic Of Making Up” goes into great detail on how to get that ex significant other back in your life.

Tips On Making Up

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

We all have dealt with this at one point or another. Your relationship is on the rocks. You can’t seem to come to terms on anything. You are downright feeling tired and depressed with the whole situation, but you want it to work out. You love this person.

Understanding

The first thing you have to realize is that relationships are complex, and you need to really understand why your relationship is in the ditch. In order to do that you need to look at things in an objective fashion. Look at the situation from both your and your partners point of view and understand where you are both coming from, and where the problems for each of you lie. When you communicate with your partner communicate this in a positive way. Don’t place blame, that is the quickest way to make the conversation deteriorate into an argument.

Take Responsibility

Take responsibility for your actions. Acknowledging to your partner those things you may be responsible for and taking ownership of those things shows her/him that you are serious about saving the troubled relationship. You want to convey to them the priority you place on the relationship and your part in it.

Emotions

Obviously emotions play a big part in saving the troubled relationship. When you are talking with your partner do your best to put any negative emotions aside. Also consider putting off any communication if you or your partners emotions are running high.

On the other side, realize also that some people tend to show a lot of emotion, while others tend to bottle it up. Understand this aspect and where each of you fall in this area. Also remember that showing positive emotions to your partner is essential. Show her/him how much they mean to you, and tell them how much you love them. This is very important for some people. In some way, we all want to be loved, or feel that the other needs us, and we are valued in the relationship.

One word of caution on emotions. Emotions can also cause you to be overbearing on your partner. Give your partner the space they need and avoid being emotionally overbearing. More information on this and other issues can be found at the bottom of this article.

Conclusion

One could write volumes on how to save a troubled relationship, and relationship management in general. What I’ve covered here are a few of the basic areas you need to address to reconnect and stay connected with your partner. In closing, always remember to consider your partners thoughts and feelings in your decisions throughout daily life. The little things, and sometimes most insignificant things, like holding hands, or a rose on a pillow can make the biggest difference.

Wishing You Happiness and Health

The Magic Of Making Up is a complete guide to get your relationship back on track.